Life has a way of knocking us down. Again—and again—and again.
It's not a pessimistic viewpoint, it's just reality. We will fail sometimes, lose sometimes, and the bad guy will win sometimes. There will be a lot of things outside of our control, and honestly, it would probably end up being much worse if we WERE in control.
But if we can learn how to pick ourselves up emotionally and mentally, it could be the greatest character achievement we could make (besides being people who love and follow Christ).
I would venture to say that, perhaps since the Depression era, people have not been taught how to master their own minds and emotions. I think, back then, a lot of them just honestly didn't have a choice. Either they learned how to swim, or life would pull them under.
Since then—and especially today—people are so focused on catering to how we feel, that we have lost all responsibility for mastering how we use those feelings. We're not taught that emotions were never meant to lead us and that our hearts will always deceive us. We hope the world and all its trappings will make us happy and lift us up, but in reality, it will take the first chance it can to push us down.
Jeremiah 17:9 says The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable—who can understand it?
That means how we feel will wreck our lives faster than almost anything else when we let our emotions steer the ship. They're meant to tell us that something's going on below the surface—good or bad—but never to have dictate what we should do about it.
Emotional maturity is a crucial part of personal development. It's easier said than done, but it's absolutely essential to becoming the people we were created to be. When we realize that our emotions and feelings are indicators, not dictators, we can start seeing them as tools to help us understand what's going on instead of the driving force in our lives.
We all struggle with this sometimes—myself included. However, I have a deep-seated belief that if we were to truly master our minds and emotions, we would be an unstoppable force of faith, strength, and wisdom in this world.
Perfect? Never. At least, not as long as we're on this side of eternity.
But wise, powerful, and insanely impactful? Yes—Absolutely!
Part of real emotional maturity, when you're faced with all the highs and lows of this life-coaster, is knowing how to pick yourself up when you're knocked down. No one will do it for you, and it's not anyone else's job to try. You, and only you, are responsible for your happiness and mental well-being.
Maybe something horrible happened, or you're just hit with a perfect storm of aggravations. Maybe you're struggling with legitimate issues like depression or anxiety. Maybe you're just having a bad day because, well, life.
If you're a believer, life is a little easier to bear because you have a root source of peace and safety that doesn't even make sense (IYKYK). However, that doesn't make it easy—just more bearable.
Besides this, the trick to being able to pick yourself up after losing a job, a loved one, dealing with manipulators and liars, making a horrible mistake, or struggling to get out of your own head, is to know yourself. Know your mind and what makes you tick. What makes you spiral—what makes them worse? What things have helped you in the past?
When you learn how you process information and feelings—and how you work—you can better work with yourself. That doesn't mean you have to fight against your overwhelming feelings—it means you know how to fight with them in tow, or even in spite of them.
Know thyself.
Being emotionally resilient doesn't mean you don't feel those deep emotions. In fact, the most emotionally mature of us do feel them (perhaps deeply), but give them the necessary time for processing and still keep moving forward.
If I could leave one lasting lesson with my children, besides a foundation of faith and dedication to Christ, it would be an amalgamation of my life mantras:
Start with what you know, and know thyself. Don't waste your pain, and keep moving forward.
I may break these down in other posts, but the main point of this one is that you have to know how your mind works in order to use your pain for growth and to keep moving forward. Resilience takes time and practice—it's not a just decide to and you're done kind of thing. It takes one day at a time, choosing to give your emotions their place in the sun, and then mastering them. YOU are in control of your mind—not your impulses, reactions, or feelings.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.
-2 Timothy 1:7
You have complete authority over your mind. It's just that reclaiming that authority is a hard process after a lifetime of emotions steering the ship. It's a training process to take back that control.
Will you start that process? Will you take back your mind?
I can't stand the thought of someone or something else (besides the Holy Spirit) being in charge of my thoughts. Sure, things will pop in there, and I'm going to have overwhelming and chaotic thoughts sometimes—that's just life. But what happens next is up to me and the training that I invest in.
For although we live in the flesh, we do not wage war according to the flesh, since the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. -2 Cor. 10:3-5
Step 1 is deciding that you will no longer be a victim of your own mind and emotions. Barring any chemical or health-related issues, this is absolutely doable!
We have to learn how to pick ourselves up—from the chair, the bed, the floor, or even the corner. We let ourselves feel, sleep if we need to (which often helps), cry, vent, or do whatever else is necessary in the moment.
BUT THEN… we practice reverting those deep, dark thoughts into ones of TRUTH, proper perspective, correct analysis, and thankfulness—even when we don't feel it. Especially when we don't feel like it. One baby step at a time.
This life is hard, and some days it will make your heart feel so toxic that you won't believe you can make it another day. Feel it, and allow it its time, for however long it NEEDS—but no longer than that.
Grieve, but whisper to yourself that the grief will lessen and you'll be able to stand again. Cry, but while sobbing over the injustice and pain, remind yourself that WHEN you're done, you will feel better. This is working with our God-given emotions to TRAIN our minds to see things differently. It's not a quick fix or a cure-all—it's a mindset needed to weather the storms.
Step 1 is deciding that you will no longer be a victim of your own thoughts and feelings. You are capable of training your mind.
Will you start that process of taking back your mind?
There's more to come, and a lot of practical ways to do this, but all of it starts with a decision to take back the power of your mind.
Until next time, my friends, when I see you in ink.
Leave a comment below and tell me where you stand on this. Is this something you want too? What do you need to claim today to take back the power of your mind and emotions? Share below—and let's start a conversation. I will ALWAYS respond!
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